A Mouthful of Week

What a week it's been. So many things to tell.

Thursday I went to pick up my new glasses that come to find out have been in since last Friday. They look really nice and Walt loved them. My prescription changed and at first everything looked very strange. Like a fun house mirror. Come to find out my left eye has a slight astigmatism that I never knew of. My brain has been compensating for it for so long that when the glasses made the correction it threw the brain off thus affecting my vision. I'm used to it now and what a difference. I can see so clearly with them on. I wonder if that is what it will be like with lasix.

Katrina and I talked. She doesn't seem upset over anything anymore but Gavin still is and hasn't forgiven Brandon for what he "believes" he did. I hope he gets over it Brandon misses him.

I have not done very well with my workout or Xing Yi the past few days. Today I was just down right horrid. No exercise at all and Munchie and I ate horribly bad at Chili's. What a disaster. I'm still sick to my stomach.
Tomorrow is a new day and a new week.

The best part of the week was finding out Connections Academy is now available throughout Florida due to a law signed this Spring mandating it. I'm so excited. We all ready signed Brandon up. His enrollment paperwork is only awaiting his IEP, last report card and FCAT. This will be so good for him. He will attend school at home and have real teachers. No more disruption in class, no more distractions and if we see him excelling in a subject we can supplement his work.

We're going to set him up his own workspace right next to mine. I found his desk and all supplies at IKEA. We even got him a new laptop. That was something we needed and planned on getting anyway. I built him a Dell online, gave it some serious memory, graphics, power and speed. The best part is at $1490.00 I had enough to pay for it in cash. It's already paid off. I'm so excited.

I have been planning on redecorating his room for awhile so today I spent the morning configuring his room, all by IKEA of course . Its going to update him from kid to pre-teen and last long after. Plus it's going to give him all the space he needs to get that mess organized. Incredibly it's all going to cost less than $1000 and that includes his school desk. We'll plan on that task after his birthday and vacation.

I'm really loving the Mac computer more all the time. I saw the demo of Apples version of Microsoft Office called iWork. It's amazing! It easily does so many of the functions I currently have to do manually in Excel. I ordered iWork 09. It should be coming soon. Ironically Office 08 which was made for Macs by Microsoft can't open any of the templates from the Office online template gallery. However it appears iWork can. I have iWork trial on my Mac now and am going to test it out a bit tomorrow. The version I ordered is the latest. 09. What amazed me the most was the price. Office runs a base minimum $300 for their basic version and one user license. iWork retails for $80 for a single user license and even has a family license pack for $99. This allows you to load it onto 5 Mac's in the same house. Unbelievable. 09 is getting fabulous reviews from long time users of Office. Should be fun to check it out.

Other than al this exciting news, the week was pretty quiet since the account execs were at their quarterly pow wow. I made some amazing meals this week and loved serving them up in a beautiful presentation on my new white plates from Target. Even my own lunch I served up beautifully
Brandon spent more time in the pool than out I think and I took some cute photos.

The very, absolute VERY best thing that happened this week was on Thursday I made the last payment on the Sears credit card. After 7 years, $14000 later and only God and Sears know how much interest, we are free from them. That is exactly what it feels like too, freedom. Now that $800 is being funneled right into the next credit card whe should have that paid off by December. I finally feel like we're getting somewhere with our debt. I'm still amazed at how good it feels.

We'll use it and the other cards for small things each month to help our credit but I don't ever want to be held hostage by that card again.
It even prompted Tiffany to have a heart to heart with me about her finances and asked me for help on hers. I feel (hope) it really sunk in with her this time.

Gratitude ~
I'm thankful for my job in tough economic times.
I'm greatful glasses and the technology that let's me see better.
I'm greatful for a better option for Brandons education
I'm greatful or IKEA.
I'm greatful for Mom and her smart money plan that has allowed me to pay off nearly $12000 in debt in 5 years. She is still with me every day.

Sunday Revival

Renewal�-�
After�weeks�of�feeling�defective,�unfit,�fat�and�tired�I�got�back�on�the�train�today.�I�logged�my�food�in�SparkPeople,�stayed�on�track,�worked�out�and�practiced�my�Xing-Yi.�I�already�feel�better.�
I�created�this�excellent�beef�and�vegetable�soup�recipe�that�even�the�boys�loved.�
It�felt�good�to�treat�myself�right�today.�
I�finished�a�new�page�in�Brandons�scrapbook�and�although�it�wasn't�the�layout�I�had�in�mind�it�came�together�really�nice.�He�was�such�a�beautiful�baby.�
Brandon�is�still�really�bummed�about�losing�his�friend�Gavin�over�what�I�truly�believe�was�an�error�in�perception.�I�just�know�when�Brandon�lies,�mostly�because�he's�terrible�at�it�and�in�this�his�story�has�never�wavered�and�he�gets�very�upset�over�it.�They�really�are�a�sweet�family�and�I�myself�am�sad�to�have�lost�their�friendship.
To help make him feel better we all played a game of Sorry together. How ironic to choose that game. I won both times but it was the first time Brandon was a good sport and everyone kept their cool. We had a nice time.
So hopefully today brought about a sense of renewal in myself and in the family.�

Sunday Revival

Renewal�-�
After�weeks�of�feeling�defective,�unfit,�fat�and�tired�I�got�back�on�the�train�today.�I�logged�my�food�in�SparkPeople,�stayed�on�track,�worked�out�and�practiced�my�Xing-Yi.�I�already�feel�better.�
I�created�this�excellent�beef�and�vegetable�soup�recipe�that�even�the�boys�loved.�
It�felt�good�to�treat�myself�right�today.�
I�finished�a�new�page�in�Brandons�scrapbook�and�although�it�wasn't�the�layout�I�had�in�mind�it�came�together�really�nice.�He�was�such�a�beautiful�baby.�
Brandon�is�still�really�bummed�about�losing�his�friend�Gavin�over�what�I�truly�believe�was�an�error�in�perception.�I�just�know�when�Brandon�lies,�mostly�because�he's�terrible�at�it�and�in�this�his�story�has�never�wavered�and�he�gets�very�upset�over�it.�They�really�are�a�sweet�family�and�I�myself�am�sad�to�have�lost�their�friendship.
To help make him feel better we all played a game of Sorry together. How ironic to choose that game. I won both times but it was the first time Brandon was a good sport and everyone kept their cool. We had a nice time.
So hopefully today brought about a sense of renewal in myself and in the family.�

Positively Charged Connections

There's something to be said for energy. In particular negative and positive energy. We know from science how the two affect everything from the Earth cycles, animal behavior to making your toaster work.
What we may not always think about is how these two opposites affect our personalities and our behaviors.

I have always been acutely aware of the power of negative and positive energy in the way I think and the way I react to the energy other people put out. Since I was a lot younger I've been a naturally positive person. Watching how I think about a situation, getting sick or just projecting an upbeat happy positive energy as much as possible. I have fought off more colds and sore throats simply because I didn't have the time or the patience for them thus I would set my mind against them.
I learned years ago when I was living in near poverty without insurance, a baby and one on the way that I could let the stresses and worries of every day living get me down or I could prioritize them and deal with them a different way,

One night I woke up at 2am worrying about how we were going to pay our Sears bill. We were making a combined $800 every two weeks and living in a hunting cabin with no furniture. While I lay there in the dark worrying and fretting I suddenly had an inspiration come over me. I thought "what can I possibly do about this now? What can I do to pay this bill here and now at 2am in the morning?" and then I answered myself, "Nothing, absolutely nothing." I'm losing sleep over something where the only thing this worry is accomplishing is robbing me of a good nights sleep.
I then turned off the worry machine and willed myself back to sleep. It was easier than I thought.
The next morning I looked at the bill and realized we were already doing everything we could to get it paid. All I could do was call them and let them know it was going to be late. That was all I could do. And I was ok with it.

I had an A-Ha moment that night and it's carried with me every since.

I learned not to stress over things I had no control over. Like slow stop lights or trains, or telephone computer prompters, or my Mother's ALS. You process it and accept it.
I learned not to worry about anything and if something comes up that would cause me worry I go back to that night and ask myself the same questions. Then when the times comes I can deal with it, I do.
I call the bank to sort out the funny charge on my bill, call the repair shop to make an appointment, make a doctors appointment (if it's necessary - that's another step), figure out where to cut expenses to pay the tax man. Simply I deal with it.
Then there are some things I've learned to simply not accept and not ever cause me undo stress. You might find this hard to believe but I don't worry about money anymore. When something comes up I may not have been expecting, for example my husband had a judgement against him from 10 years ago he forgot all about. Then out of nowhere I looked at my bank account one day and over $2500 was taken from it. Freaked! Called the bank and found out that judgement went to court and they demanded payment which the courts were happy to oblige.
I could have gotten sick, poured myself a drink and worried myself into a stooper. The rent was due and both car payments. But instead, once I figured out it wasn't fraud and the charge was just, I instantly put all worry aside and was calm. I shrug my shoulders and know deep down in my soul, the money will come from somewhere. We'll be alright. I made a few calls and changed let my car companies know I would be a little late sending in payment (hint - car payments aren't considered "late" until after 30 days. If you call them before the due date to let them know it'll be a few days or weeks late (less than 30 days) they will make a note on the account and usually forego the late fees) cut back on the groceries for a bit and watched the spending and somehow the money was just there. My husband had a busier than normal week for unexplained reasons. We didn't miss a single bill or get slapped with a single late fee.

I never worry about money anymore. I don't worry about getting a house. I know I'll have one when the time is right.
I don't worry about my health. I think healthy, feel healthy and tell myself I'm healthy and I am healthy.

I think positive every day and find I am so much happier than my more pessimistic husband.
He eats better than I do, has exercised and lifted weights religiously for years, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke but he's a constant worrier. He worries about the future incessantly. He worries about his health, the bills (which ironically he never sees and I do all the finances), he worries about everything and you know what, he's always sick. He's had three surgeries since I met him, he had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, terrible sinuses and so many joint aches I stopped counting. Reading through the teaching of the Tao where it talks about exactly this, he's finally starting to understand it. But teaching himself to turn off the worry faucet is a whole different matter. He even tells himself he's going to be cranky the next morning for such and such reason.

You're thoughts are power.

My only vice is this.

I'm an emotional sponge and I can pick up on a person's energy the minute they walk into a room. I know when my husband comes home cranky the minute I open the door. I know when someone is happy, sad, sick, worried, angry. I can actually feel it and it instantly affects me. My whole demeanor changes. It happens more with my family because I'm with them all the time and it's easier to walk away from someone in the store etc.

I work at home now so I don't get that from work much but I have coworkers and clients I talk to on the phone that make me edgy from the second I get on the phone.
The ego maniacs put me on the defensive, the hypocondriac drives make me feel sick to my stomach and the whiners and complainers put a bad taste in my mouth.

So I'm working on it. Learning to dry out the emotional sponge and be more in command of them. Build up a rubber shell.
It's a work in progress but I keep trying. I talk to myself all the time and in the beginning I did it audibly. I must have looked like a loon talking to myself but if worked.

Your mind is power and you can control your situation and how you react to it. You can even control to let it happen at all or not.

It's been quite empowering.

----------------------

More Power To You

Tara